Expiring Coupon Syndrome

I had to make an "emergency run" to Walmart yesterday, not because we desperately needed anything, but because when I pulled out my coupon binder to do some much-needed organizing I'd noticed that my stash of Mitchum $2 coupons were expiring that very day!  Now, I have often said I am not brand loyal to anything but Scott tissue, but I do admit to having a preference in brands of deodorant, and Mitchum is my favorite.  When I spotted the Mitchum $2 coupon a few weeks ago I collected as many as I could and was holding onto them for a sale. That sale never materialized. Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you want to look at it, I suffer from "Expiring Coupon Syndrome," a common, but little-understood malady that causes the most well-adjusted among us to rush out the door in our yoga pants and no make-up in pursuit of inexpensive health and beauty products. This is a real syndrome, people, and not something I just made up to explain my bizarre behavior.

Once inside the store, I was pleased to see a few Mitchum marked down to $2 in the clearance aisle, but I had to pay a whopping 97-cents for the others. I filled my cart with as many purchases as I had coupons for, and then made a beeline to the Valentine's Day clearance aisle where I picked up half-price window clings to decorate my library next year. At the checkout, the cashier totaled up my deodorant while the person behind me looked on: in disgust or awe, I wasn't sure which. When I handed the cashier my coupons, she put on her glasses and scrutinized them carefully, before handing them back.
        "These are expired," she said. I gasped and clutched my chest.
         I checked the date on them again. How could I have gotten the date wrong?: 2-16-2014.
        "Isn't it the 16th?"
         She checked her register for the date, and then reached out her hand to take them back."You're right. I'm so sorry."  We both smiled as I breathed an audible sigh of relief. The woman behind me craned her neck to see as the coupons were taken off, snorting at the final tally, whether in derision or laughter, I will never know.
        What I did know was that a potential crisis had been averted, and my girls and I wouldn't have to worry about underarm "wetness or odor" for a very long time....